Panda Heart Publishing's Official Blog

“Love is the fruit in season at all times and within reach of every hand.”  ~ Mother Teresa

Many years ago I attended a training and was taught that there were three ways of handling a negative situation.  The trainer used a basketball to illustrate his point.  He told us to recall a time when someone was angry or hostile towards us and made a negative comment.

The trainer then asked one of us to come up onto the platform and handed this person the ball.  He said that the first way to handle the situation is to take the comment, feel the pain, and then retaliate.  He asked the person to throw the ball hard at him and he caught it in the stomach, made a painful sound, and threw the ball back even harder at the other person.  Does this response sound familiar?

The trainer explained the second example by asking the person to again throw the ball even harder.  When the ball was thrown, the trainer moved out of the way and just let the ball go by.  He explained that we do not have to take in those words, but can let them just go on by and watch them vanish with no response.

I used to keep this image in mind whenever a situation became hostile.  This is not an easy thing to accomplish, however, especially in close relationships.  Sometimes as hard as I try, some comments remain painful and it takes time to heal.

The third method of handling these situations, was also demonstrated.  The trainer had the person again throw the ball and this time as he caught it, he smiled, ran over to the person who had thrown the ball, said thank you, and helped him throw it again.  He seemed to truly appreciate the hit he had received.

This method was much harder for me to understand in my practical life.  I could not really find a way to use this until just recently.  I had two colleagues that made negative and hostile comments toward me when we came back to work after the summer recess.

I suddenly remembered this training from many years ago and tried to apply the techniques that I had learned.  It would be a difficult year if I didn’t find a resolution within myself.  At first I tired letting the words flow by me picturing them vanishing away;  however, the energy of the hostility remained behind.

I took a long walk in the Redwoods to clear my head and my heart.  I began to feel the immense gratitude for having a job in these current economic times.  I then thought of each of these colleagues one at a time and realized what a gift their comments had been to me.

From one of them, I realized by listening to his comments, I was actually witnessing my own feelings of overwhelm by the new work load as many others are also experiencing with cut backs in personnel.  I had a chance to look at my attitude about my assignment and completely re-focused my energy in an entirely new direction.  I looked at how much I love this school, the staff, and the children with whom I will be working.  Together, we will make this a wonderful year.  I am truly grateful for the jolt his words had given to me.

For the second situation, as I was walking, I began to focus on my heart and hold her with love and appreciation.  I suddenly recalled that one of the things I needed to add to a book I am writing is personal stories to illustrate the specific concepts of my book.  Wasn’t this a perfect example?

I realized what an incredible gift this amazing person was to me.  I had a perfect example presented to me about how to use the power of love and gratitude by centering on my heart.  I am truly grateful.

I finally understand how to use the third method of saying thank you to the person who has “created” the hostility.  These situations were presented to me to provide invaluable lessons that I had actually requested.  “Love is the fruit in season at all times and within reach of every hand.”

How do we create order in a sometimes chaotic life?  With the current cut backs and changes occurring all around us, how do remain centered and focused on what is important in our lives?

In the work place, for example, where we spend so much of our time, things may have changed due to the economy or other factors and we may be doing more than we ever thought possible.  It is easy to get thrown off guard and become frantic.  At first, it may seem like everything is in chaos.  Where do we begin?

The important place to always begin is within our own hearts.  This is probably the most critical time to take a moment for quiet reflection.  We need to become centered within ourselves and come from a position of heart strength, keeping ourselves in balance.   Make the time for taking walks on the beach or in the park.  Be with our friends and family in the joy of love.

Then it is time to do a thorough “what’s so”.  This means take a complete inventory of what we currently have in resources and what we must do.  What are the current needs?  How can they be filled by the resources that are available?  How will our job now be defined?

I know many of us are feeling grateful to have our current positions and most of us do not take this for granted.   It is, therefore, important to create a sense of calm and order in any chaos that we may be facing.  We will always accomplish more coming from a peaceful centered place rather than a frantic position.

There is really joy to be discovered anywhere we are and in whatever we are doing.  It only depends on the attitude with which we approach our lives.  Centering on and listening to our hearts can most often bring the order we need to the chaos we are experiencing.   Let us practice this heart centering process daily as we bring our calming energy and continue to share our gifts with each other.

“There is no point in speaking unless you can improve on silence.”                                                                                                                          ~ Edmund Muskie

Have we ever fully looked at the power of our words?  We can bring someone, love, joy and a sense of aliveness or we can hurt someone deeply and bring them into a state of fear, anxiety, sadness, or depression.  There truly “is no point  in speaking unless we can improve on the silence.”

What would motivate us to ever speak in such a way that we would cause others pain?  Sometimes we are hurt ourselves and striking back, or maybe we are in fear of something and we take that out on others.  What ever the reason, is it really ever worth it?

There is a famous quote by Solomon Ibn Gabirol ben Judah: “As long as a word remains unspoken, you are its master; once you utter it, you are its slave.”  How many of us have spoken words for which later we had to apologize.  Once these words were spoken, however, they usually linger on in the minds of all who either speak or hear them.

It would be wonderful if we could all train ourselves to stop, take a breath, and experience the fullness of our hearts before entering a stressful situation.  Feel the love and the calmness that comes from our hearts before we begin the conversations.  First listen from our hearts and hear the real message coming at us no matter what the words or the energy behind them seem to be.

If we could focus our listening and speaking from the infinite capacity of love found in our hearts, there would be no need for silence.  We would fill the space with words of compassion and love and bring about a new understanding for all.  This may be a difficult task to accomplish but one worth pursuing with daily practice.   “There is no point in speaking unless we can improve on silence.”

“A friend is a gift you give yourself.”
– Robert Louis Stevenson

I just spent four days with three very dear friends.  We could have picked any activity or any place to be together and it would have been just as wonderful, but we chose to spend our time at a spa/resort.  In the past we have been together in a small cabin in the woods outside Sedona.

The important thing about our adventures is that we choose to honor the time to be together.  The days apart can turn into months or even years and if we don’t make our friendships a priority, they can easily slip away from our grasp.

The friendships from this particular group of women came together during a workshop that we shared for many weeks.  We took two more together and then our bonding was complete.  We have remained close friends now for 15 years and though we don’t get together often, when we do, it is as if we never parted.  We continue our connections throughout the year by telephone, cards, email, etc.

Friendships in general result from a mutual love and trust for one another.  It comes from listening to the other person with compassion and understanding and letting go of our need to “be right”.  It is in this true listening to others that we learn to expand our own points of view and the rewards are wonderful.

As human beings, we were not meant to go through life alone.  Friendships are a beautiful way of fulfilling this need in our lives.  Our friends are indeed treasures to behold and “a gift we give ourselves”.

During the summer time we usually think about relaxing with family and/or friends, slowing down, and taking time to enjoy life.  Children are out of school, the weather is warmer and our systems tend to slow down.

This may be a wonderful opportunity to reflect on what is truly important in our lives.  It doesn’t really matter where we choose to take our vacations or whether it is simply weekend outings we share.  What really matters is that we spend quality time with those in our lives that we love.

Plan a summer picnic with friends and family or a day at the beach.  How about a hike in the woods or a camping trip?  There are so many opportunities to share time with others.  We all have the beauty of nature as our play ground and it does not require money to enjoy it.  The only requirement is a little planning and our time.

We all have wonderful memories of summers from our past that we cherish.  We are now the authors of the memories we will create for our future and that of our children.  Let us not miss the opportunities we have now.  We are not so busy that we can’t create at least a day in the sun.

Let’s leave our worries and problems alone for a day or two.  I promise that they will be there when we return.  We may even have a chance to gain a new perspective on how to resolve them.  It is amazing how differently we view things when our minds have had a chance to relax for awhile.

Let us enjoy the true blessings of life, which are the times that we share with each other.  These are the memories we treasure.  Nothing else will take the place of these wonderful moments together.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

We seem to be living in a time of such division.  People from all sides are trying to gain a larger following to justify their points of view.  I so love this statement from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  We cannot drive out the hate by more hate and name calling, “only love can do that”.

It is difficult to rise above all of the rhetoric and comments being made but let’s make a genuine effort to do this.  Perhaps we could begin by seeing and listening through the eyes and ears of our hearts.  How would our hearts respond to this?    If someone makes a “seemingly inappropriate comment”, for example, from where did this comment come?

Before we judge any comments that have been made, let us take a moment to walk in their shoes.   What in this person’s experience led to those thoughts and/or feelings?  Let us get a broader perspective on any issue we are facing.  We have all walked through our own life’s journey having many different experiences and beliefs, which have shaped our specific points of view.

We are all unique.  It is really amazing that we can agree on anything, let alone everything, which seems to be expected now.  Our diversity is one of the most beautiful things about us.  Would you enjoy looking at a scenic view if everything looked exactly the same?  Would you enjoy listening to a concert with the musicians all playing the same note?

We thrive on seeing nature in the rapture of its glorious colors.  We love listening to a concert with the incredible harmony of sounds made by a full orchestra.  What would our world be like if we viewed each other as unique and beautiful pieces of a colorful tapestry called life?  What if we experienced each other as if we were all making wonderful contributions  to the depth, creativity, and wonder of our world.

Let’s follow Dr. Martin Luther King by letting our lights shine forth in the darkness and our love pour out into the space of all hatred.   Let us all follow his guidance and choose love.

The disciple walked up to the master and asked,  “How can I free myself from what binds me to the past?”
The master got up, went to a tree stump, and clutched onto it, moaning,  “What can I do so that this tree lets go of me?” -  Zen wisdom

How often do we live through our past experiences, especially the painful ones?  Do we carry these memories of regrets, mistakes, or wrongs that others may have done forward into our present thoughts and/or feelings?

As the Zen master stated above, “What can I do so that this tree lets go of me?”  The past is gone forever.  We are choosing to hang on to these memories, it is totally in our control to let them go.  The tree does not bind us to it, nor does the past.

One of the pathways to letting go of our negative past memories is through the process of forgiveness.  This process allows our hearts to open and become more fully self expressed as we experience our humanity.  This is forgiveness of ourselves as well as others.   This journey may seem long but the process is simple and the more forgiveness we are able to express the more love and compassion we are able to feel.

Let’s release all of our negative past memories into the gentleness of forgiveness.   We can begin this new moment in the appreciation of who we are and the many gifts we have to offer others.  Bask in the glow of being alive and able to love and be loved, to value and be valued and to know that we can make a difference in our world.

Celebrate this moment and use it to create a new beginning thus leading to a new future for ourselves and those around us.   Experience the feelings of gratitude for all that we have and all that we are.  This moment belongs to us.   How will we choose to use it?

“Some people go through life trying to find out what the world holds for them only to find out too late that it’s what they bring to the world that really counts.”- Lucy Maud Montgomery

Summer is a quieter time for most of us as we slow down our pace and look forward to spending time with our families and friends.  Some of us get away for vacations or find more time for rest and relaxation.

Maybe we could spend some of these moments in reflection of our own gifts and talents.  What do we do well and/or what do we love to do?  What makes our hearts sing?  What activities makes us eager to learn more and become even better at doing them?

Each one of us is born with a life’s purpose.  We were given specific gifts and talents to accomplish this purpose.  The beauty of this is that when we are doing what we were meant to do, our lives have meaning, and we feel alive and joyful.  We wake up each morning ready to tackle anything and are often able to see our challenges as opportunities to exercise our gifts and talents.

Have you ever asked the question, “What does the world hold for me”?  Many of us feel that if we just keep looking we will find that perfect place to work, live, etc.  We just need to keep looking and/or waiting.   It will come along “one of these days” if we are patient.

In truth, the perfect place we seek comes from within ourselves.  The journey that we must take is one of self-discovery.  Who are we and what can we offer the world?  What are our unique gifts and talents for which the world is waiting?  The specific job that awaits us may not even exist yet but one that we were meant to create.

Let’s spend some time reflecting on our gifts and talents.  Make a list of these and add what activities we can do with each one.  The longer we remain in reflection the longer our lists will become.  The more time we spend doing these activities, the more our creative ideas flow and the more options appear.  This is the magic of who we really are as we share our gifts with the world.

It truly is “what we bring to the world that really counts”.   “We are the ones we have been waiting for.”

“Live your life from your heart.   Share from your heart.   And your story will touch and heal people’s souls.”
~ Melody Beattie

When I look all around us today, I often see a world caught up in turmoil and indecision.  We can’t move one way or the other.  This group is going in the wrong direction while the other one seemingly has all of the answers.  Where are we really going?  Does anybody really know?

We all come from very different places, coming from different beliefs and experiences, so it would be virtually impossible for us to have the exact same point of view at any given time.  There is, however, one place where we can all come together as one human family and that is when we come from our hearts.  In this space, there is actually room for all points of view.

Our hearts hold an infinite capacity to love, an ability to feel compassion, and respect for each other.  When we come from our hearts we live in our integrity and can experience our courage to face life.  We can also spread a positive and loving energy to others that becomes instantly contagious.

What an amazing world we could create if we would all “live life from our hearts”.  If we could listen from our hearts to whatever some else was saying, no matter how different their point of view, and truly take in how they are experiencing their world, we could actually expand our own points of view.  We would broaden our awareness of what truly exits in our world.

We are all here together.  We now have a choice of how we will experience each other.  Will we choose to “Live our lives from our hearts,   and share from our hearts.?”   Will our stories touch and heal people’s souls?”

Let’s each one of us choose to live life from our hearts, let’s choose love.