Archive for June, 2009


Coping With Loss

At some point in our lives we will all lose someone that we love.  The grieving process that follows is one of our most painful experiences.  There is only one way though this process and it is to just experience it fully and completely.  It cannot be hurried, buried or dismissed, but rather, allowed to complete its cycle for however long it takes, which includes the fear, anger, sadness and grief.

The important thing for us to remember when we are going through this pain, is to take care of ourselves no matter how hard this may be.  As we nurture our bodies with food and a warm bath, also remember to reach into the core of our hearts and pull out the unlimited capacity for love that is there.  Shower ourselves with all of this love and compassion and release any judgment or guilt that may be coming up in the face of our grief.

For those of us wanting to know how we can provide comfort to those in need, an amazing answer came from a four year old child.

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry”.

“Dance in the Rain”

“Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.”

In the current economic climate, we can sometimes find ourselves in a “survival mode”.   We can think of just trying to ride out the storm and wait for the “better times” to come.

What would it look like if we thought of these times as the “better times” already.   We could, instead, look at all of the treasures we have around us.

Maybe we can’t go to the specific vacation spots where we used to go, but think about what we loved most about going on our vacations.  What are our most endearing memories?

When I think about the vacations I have had, whether it was camping in the Redwoods or traveling in Ireland, my answer is always the same.  My memories always focus on being with my family and/or friends and the fun times and camaraderie that we shared together.  It really didn’t matter where we were or what we were doing.   It was always about being together.

Maybe, in these times of economic stress, we can fully examine where we are financially, and create the best plan of action we can take under our current circumstances.   Then as we are doing this, let’s not forget to laugh and play together, love those in our lives, have fun, and remember to “dance in the rain”.

The Gift of Acknowledgment

I was having lunch the other day with a friend that I hadn’t seen in many years. It was wonderful to see her again and catch up with each others’ lives. I shared my panda and book with her and told her about the adventures of the publishing business. She purchased the panda and book that I had shown her as a gift for her nephew.

I later received a phone call from the eight year old granddaughter of one of her neighbors, with whom she is very close. This adorable eight year old had read my book and fell in love with “Yin”. She called to tell me how she felt.

There is something so cherished about receiving that kind of acknowledgment, especially from a child. It warmed my heart all day.

How easy it is for us to tell someone that we appreciate and admire something they have done. We sometimes get so caught up in our busy lives that we can forget about acknowledging others. The extra few minutes this would take can mean so much to them. It can sometimes “Make their day!”.  It is like bringing in a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.

I am going to remember this experience of being acknowledged and treasure that moment.  I am also going to be sure to acknowledge others every chance that I get.  It is a gift from the heart that will be treasured.

Moving to Unleash the Human Spirit

Movement has always been a powerful way to unleash the human spirit.  Our bodies were meant to move; we were designed that way.  Many of us live sedentary lives now as we spend most of our days working at desks, etc.  Movement, therefore, becomes more difficult for us as we try and squeeze it into our busy lives.

We have all heard that when we exercise, walk, run, dance, etc., we always feel more energized when we have finished.  I try to tell myself that as I go home from work and think about getting dinner and just relaxing for the evening.  “I’m too tired to exercise!”

When we move our bodies, we do more than just energize ourselves physically.  We also energize ourselves mentally, emotionally, and especially spiritually.  It is a powerful way to open the heart and unleash our “Yin Spirit”.

Many years ago, I spoke at a conference and one of the other speakers, an extraordinary woman from Africa, was describing the significance of the human spirit and how it can be unleashed.  We sat there listening to her words of wisdom, when she suddenly told us to stand up and get in the aisles to give ourselves more room.   She turned on this incredible African music and told us to listen to the rhythm and just let our bodies move to the music.

At first we moved cautiously as you would expect in a room full of strangers, but then we slowly began to fully experience the music and let our bodies go.   The energy in the room became electrified and we all felt truly alive.  As the music stopped, this amazing woman said to all of us,   “Now that is how to unleash the human spirit”.

When I think of all the benefits of moving my body and bringing my whole self into balance, I begin to wonder about my sanity when I resist exercising.  I am now making a promise to myself that, for at least 10 minutes each day, I will make the time for movement.

The next time we exercise and move our bodies, let us also bring in the energy from our hearts and let our spirits become unleashed.

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